Julie Ann Gonzalez: Issues 7/15/10 Part 2

Another interview in hopes to bring Julie Ann home!

Julie Ann Gonzalez: Issues 4/28/10 Part 3

Julie is my cousin please help me and her family try and find her. This is one part of the story there are a lot more parts. Please watch and help us bring Julie home! if you have any information please email me at amartinez83uno@yahoo.com and I will give it to my family in Texas. The police are not doing anything so now the famiy is taking it into our hands and putting it out on every site to make sure everyone sees, hears, and knows about this and hopefully someone who knows something will come forward. thanks

Julie Ann Gonzalez

If you have seen Julie or know where she is or what happened to her please let me know so I can let my fami ly know. She went misssing March 26, 2010 and was last seen by her husband who she was trying to get away from. The two share a two year old daughter and Julie was suppose to be picking up her daughter when she went missing. Her husband failed a polygraph test on Dr. Phil yet that's still not good enough for Austin police to conduct a search for Julie. APD even went as far as to tell the family to higher a P. I. if they want more done so they did. Please if you know anything or if you live in the Texas area or know anyone who lives in Texas post the links or let people know to youtube Julie Ann Gonzalez so we can help find her or HOPEFULLY bring her home! Thanks

17 Signs that he may be a batterer

• One in four woman will be hit by their partner in a life time.
• Woman 15 to 44 suffer more injuries in domestic violence than car accidents
• 1994- 2004 22 Kern County Children witnessed 1 or both parents murdered/ suicide.
• The more times a woman leaves the relationship the more likely she is to stay away.
• It takes 5 to 10 times for the victim to leave before they really stay away.

Signs to look for in a Battering Personality

1. Jealousy: at the beginning of a relationship an abuser will always say that jealousy is a sign of love; jealousy has nothing to do with love, it's a sign of possessiveness and lack of trust. The abuser will question the woman about whom she talks to, accuse her of flirting, or be jealous of time she spends with family, friends, or children. As jealousy progresses, the abuser may call her frequently or drop by unexpectedly. the abuser may refuse to let her work for fear she will meet someone else, or even do strange things such as checking her car mileage or asking friends to watch her.
2. Controlling behavior: at first the batterer will say that this behavior is because of concern for the woman's safety and well being. The abuser will be angry if the woman is "late" coming back from the store or elsewhere and will question her closely about where she went, to whom she spoke, etc. As the behavior gets worse the abuser may not let the woman make personal decisions about the house, her clothing, going to church; he may keep all the money or even make her ask permission to leave the house or room.
3. Quick involvement: Many battered women dated or knew their abuser for less than six months before they were married, engaged, or living together. an abuser comes on like a whirl-wind claiming "You're the only person I could ever talk to". "I've never felt lived like this by anyone". The abuser will pressure the woman to commit to the relationship in such a way that later a woman may feel very guilty or feel that she is "letting him down" if she wants to slow down involvement or break-off the relationship.
4. Unrealistic expectations: abusive ppl will expect their partner to meet all of their needs; the abuser expects the woman to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, friend and will say things like "if you love me, I'm all you need-- you're all I need". She is supposed to take care of everything for the abuser emotionally and in the home.
5. Isolation: The abusive person tries to cut the woman off from all resources. If she has men friends, she's a whore; if she has women friends she's a lesbian; if she's close to her family she's "tired to the apron strings". The abuser accuses ppl who are the woman's support of "causing trouble". the abuser may want to live in the country without a phone, may not let the woman use the car or have one that is reliable, or may try to keep the woman from working, going to school or church.
6. Blames others for problems: If the abuser is chronically unemployed, someone is out to get him; someone is always doing him wrong. The abuser will tell the woman that she is at fault for almost anything that goes wrong.
7. Blames others for feelings: The abuser will tell the woman "You make me so mad". "I can't help being angry". The abuser really makes the decision about what he thinks or feels but will use feelings to manipulate the woman.
8. Hypersensitivity: An abuser is easily insulted, claiming his feelings are hurt when he is really mad or taking the slightest setbacks as personal attacks.The abuser will rant and rave about the injustice of things that happen--things that are really just a part of life, like being asked to work overtime, being told a behavior is annoying, being asked to help with chores.
9. Cruelty to animals & children: This person who kills or punishes animals brutally or is insensitive to their pain and suffering. The abuser may expect children to do things that are way beyond their ability or abuser may tease children until they cry.
10. "Playful" use of force in sex: This kind of person may like to throw the woman down and hold her down during sex. The abuser may want to act out fantasies during sex where the woman is helpless and will let her know that the idea of rape is exciting. The abuser may show little concern about whether the woman wants to have sex and will use sulking behavior or anger to manipulate her into compliance. the abuser may start having sex with the woman while she is sleeping, or demand sex when she is ill or tired.
11. Verbal abuse: In addition to saying things that are meant to be cruel and hurtful, this can be seen when the abuser degrades the woman, cursing her, running down her accomplishments. The abuser will tell the woman that she is stupid and unable to function without him. This may involve waking the woman up to verbally abuse her or not letting her go to sleep.
12. Rigid sex roles: The abuser expects the woman to serve him, perhaps saying that he woman must stay at home that she must obey in all things--even things that are criminal in nature. The abuser will see women as inferior, responsible for menial tasks, stupid, and unable to be a whole person without a relationship.
13. Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde: Many women are confused by their abuser's "sudden" mood changes--they may think that the abuser has some mental problem because one minute the abuser is really nice and the next minute exploding. Explosiveness and moodiness are typical of ppl who abuse their partners, and these behaviors are related to other characteristics such as hypersensitivity.

**the following four signs are found in those who are certainly batterers.

14. Past battering: An abuser may say that he has hit women in the past but it was the woman's fault or it was only one time. The woman may hear from relatives or ex-partners that the person is abusive. A batterer will beat any woman he is with if the woman is with them long enough for violence to begin: situational circumstances do not make a person abusive.

15. Threat of Violence: This includes any threat of physical force meant to control the woman; "I'll slap your mouth off", "I'll kill you", "I'll break your neck". though most people do not threaten their partners, a batterer will try to excuse threats by saying that "everybody talks like that".

16. Breaking or striking objects: This behavior is used as punishment (breaking loved possession) but is used mostly to terrorize the woman into submission. The abuser may beat on tables with his fist, throw objects around or near the woman. Again this is a very remarkable behavior--not only is this a sign of extreme emotional immaturity, but there is great danger when someone thinks they have the "right" to punish or frighten his partner.

17. Any force during an argument: this may involve a batterer holding a woman down, physically restraining her from leaving the room, any pushing or shoving. The abuser may hold the woman against the wall and say "You're going to listen to me"!

If a person has several (three or more) of these behaviors there is a strong potential for physical violence-- the more signs a person has, the more likely the person is a batterer. In some cases a batterer may only have a couple of behaviors a woman can recognize, but they are very exaggerated (e.g. extreme jealousy over ridiculous things). In the beginning these behaviors can be "explained" by the batterer as love and concern. However, as time goes on these behaviors become more extreme and serve to establish, keep, and strengthen power and control over the victim.

(Information taken from Project for Victims of Family Violence, Inc. )

Myths:

• The victim can just leave
• It was a moment in anger
• Only happens in poor families
• The battered person is the only victim

Cycle of Violence: there are 3 phases

1. Tension building phase: couples get into arguments batterer is angry and looking for a reason to beat the victim. It starts with verbal abuse and the victim blames them self which leads to depressed learning, helplessness, and anxiety.
2. Acute Battering: when the batterer hits the victim. It starts with a push or a shove and as the wheel goes around the batterer starts hitting in a Christmas tree pattern avoiding the face and arms and focusing on the places that are usually covered and unseen.
3. Honeymoon period: the Loving reconciliation where he gives you the flowers and gifts and tells you that he loves you before you start the cycle all over again.

Melissa "Missy" Flores

This young face belongs to Melissa Flores born Feb. 15, 1980. Melissa, who is known as "Missy" to family and friends, was the #1 Dodgers fan in Bakersfield and never missed a game. Melissa had a laugh that comforts her mom Terry Lira now that Melissa is gone. Melissa was in the middle of two brothers Gilbert and Raymond Flores but according to her mom Terry that's what made her tough. Melissa never got the chance to have children of her own but loved children and was the Godmother to her brother Gilbert's child Abby. "Melissa taught disabled children and that goes to show what type of person she was and how special she was" according to Terry.
The Dream team puts up their sign getting ready for the start of day. They work together to hang the Happy Birthday Survivor sign. This the fifth year of participation, the Dream Team was able to make the top ten teams at the Relay for life, a goal that Melissa had when she started the team in 2006.
The Dream Team stayed with the theme of Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back.
Captain Holli Pyland tells the team last minute things that need to be done before the start of the day. When asked what is Holli's favorite memory of Melissa she said "Oh there's not just one. I honestly don't have one favorite memory just things that I remember is how much laughing we did through our ten year friendship, the places that we traveled to in her last year of life, buying a house together, getting her, her dream truck, going to Hawaii, Relay is always a good memory, her survivor lap, and her Fight like a Girl theme." Holli closes with "Just because we lost our survivor doesn't mean that that's the fate of every other survivor. And seeing the purple shirts everywhere especially on the survivor lap, that just makes us work harder and raise more money every single year because we don't want anyone else to lose anyone they love to cancer."
The Dream Team not only has raffles but also has food for sell. They number one fundraiser the Dream Team has is the Pink and Black Party for a Cure which was first established four years ago by Melissa and her cousin Christina. The Pink and Black Party started with raising $5000 the first year to raising over $10,000 this year. Six hundred tickets were sold this year and it was basically all family, friends, people that knew Melissa, and people who knew of Melissa.
Terry Lira puts the tickets for the raffles where they belong before the start of the walk. The Dream Team gets all kinds of different donations which they raffle off, this year they had 21 things they had to raffle off that have to do with both Breast Cancer and survivors of cancer. They have both pink and purple, pink for the Breast Cancer and purple for the survivors. Most of the stuff they have is for Breast Cancer because that's what Melissa died from but they continue to do Relay for life to help the survivors. They have blankets that people made, gift baskets, as well as t-shirts the Dream Team had made up.
Terry wears a memory shirt with Melissa's face on it with the year she was born and the year she passed.
Terry's mom, who passed away last year from cancer as well, is also remembered on this day and is celebrated along with Melissa through the Relay for Life.
These shirts which say Dream Team on the front have two ribbons which form a heart in memory of both Melissa and her grandmother Frances Ibarra who passed away last year. The pink ribbon is for Melissa and the blue if for her Grandma who died from stomach cancer.
Abby, Gilbert's daughter and Melissa's God-daughter gets help with her Relay for life bracelet with her shirt representing the Dream Team.
When Gilbert Flores was asked to tell me about his sister, he got emotional and said "Um my sister? Uh I can't" I told him I needed him to help me tell Melissa's story and he said "How do I explain my sister? Uh very strong probably one of the strongest girls I ever met in my life. She was very loving and took care of everybody. Very missed. Its just really hard to say. A very athletic girl, she was beautiful, and wanted to help everybody even when she was sick she wanted to help everybody." Gilbert, who was upset with good reason went on to say when asked if he thought it would ever get easier "No. It never gets easier, we just cope with it, kind of put it aside, it never gets easier. From little songs to certain food she liked just starts it all over again."
This is the tattoo the family got when Melissa first found out she had cancer. It was first the pink ribbon for Breast Cancer and then they put her name in it as a memorial for her and the struggle she was going through. "When she passed we decided to add God's hands around it because she's in God's hands now, looking over us." Gilbert said as he finished up the story behind his tattoo.
An emotional Terry talks about the day Melissa got the phone call telling her she had cancer. Terry, Melissa, and younger brother Ray were sitting on Melissa's bed in her room and Melissa had already been tested and they all knew it and Melissa's cell phone rings. Melissa answered the phone and was like "yeah, ok, what time" then she got off the phone with no reaction and says "I have cancer". Younger brother Ray had to leave the room, but Terry hugged her and kissed her and told her she loved her and that they would get through it, that they would fight it, and she'd be ok. Melissa acted as if she was ok but Terry later found out that Melissa had wrote about her fight and how she struggled with different areas and times of her fight. Terry found it right before Melissa's first anniversary of her death and saved it until the day of her anniversary where she read it out loud to the family who gathered at Melissa's grave.
One favorite memory that Terry has of Melissa is one that makes her very proud, "when [Melissa] was going through her treatments in the last few weeks before she passed away, when she would go and get her treatments and by this time she was very weak when I would take her to CBCC we would pull up to the front and they would come out with a gurney for her and take her in so that she could get her treatment and then bring her out for me after her treatment was done. But even still as she laid there on her gurney she would still, with the other patience there, she would still tell them how they had to continue to fight their cancer and to not give up and to have faith that they would get better. So that day I was really proud of that." One day in particular Melissa had to have a blood transfusion so she was laying on the gurney and a man had to be taken out because he was having a hard time and Melissa turned to Terry and said "See, you see mom, we should never feel sorry for ourselves because there's always someone else worse off then we are" and Terry was very proud of that moment.
Mom, Terry and God-daughter Abby Flores pose for a picture after sharing their thoughts and feelings about their Missy. Abby says that she misses her Nina and remembers her Nina tickling her.
Melissa played softball growing up and softball is where she met her best friend Holli. Melissa and Holli played softball together at BC and had hoped to play in a co-ed adult league but at first they were working and then with Melissa getting sick, she was unable to do so. Holli and some friends and family members started a softball team which they call the Dream team in honor and memory of Melissa.
Fight like a girl was one of the themes that the Dream team came up with while Melissa was still a live. The first year theme was Dodgers because Melissa was a big Dodger fan and then with Melissa still fighting, the second year was called Fight Like a Girl because Melissa was a tough fighter. They had a boxing ring which they covered with pink and a pink punching bag that according to Terry during Melissa's fight she would go out and use the ring to get out some of her stress. The Dream Team holds this theme close to their heart because "that's what Melissa did she fought until the very end" Terry said when talking about the Fight Like a Girl theme.
I close with Melissa's message to all women, "make sure you get checked, don't take no for an answer, if they tell you you're fine but you think there's something wrong don't except that go get a second opinion." On January 14, 2008, Melissa died at the young age of 27 but she continues to live on through the Dream Team.

Runaway teens suspected in elderly woman's beating death | Bakersfield Now - News, Weather and Sports | Local & Regional News

Runaway teens suspected in elderly woman's beating death Bakersfield Now - News, Weather and Sports Local & Regional News These are the faces of the three suspects who killed an innocent 81 year old women. If you know where they are or have any information please call the police and let them know. Just remember: If it was your Grandmother, mother, sister, aunt, cousin, friend and someone knew something wouldn't you want them to say something? I would!

Children are suspects in grandmother's killing - Bakersfield.com

Children are suspects in grandmother's killing - Bakersfield.com
This is what are youth is doing. This is what we have to look forward to our future doing. Why have our children turned to such drastic measures and for what? This is not the first time that young children have killed an innocent elder. Mr. Perez, who was in his early eighties, was also killed by three young boys. Mr. Perez was just collecting cans at 5:30 am when the boys beat him to death for a few dollars he had and his cans. When the boys were caught, it was found that all three children's parents had been in and out of jail themselves. When is the cycle going to stop? Our future seems to be going down hill and if we don't do something as a community, as a city, as a state, as a nation where will we be when we are in our eighties?

Neighborhood shocked after elderly woman brutally killed | Northeast Bakersfield News

Neighborhood shocked after elderly woman brutally killed Northeast Bakersfield News
Watch the video. It is sad and is too, too close to home. This is a local news video of a story of an 81 year old women who was killed by two possibly three people for no apparent reason because nothing was taken from the house. How can someone do something like this? This was some bodies mother, sister, aunt, cousin, grandmother, great-grandmother, friend and she lived about a block away from my Grandmother. Something needs to be done about the lack of respect that people show our elders these days and we need some more police support for East Bakersfield as well. One day my Grandma called the cops because there were two men sitting on her lawn smoking and drinking who she did not know. They used her water hose in the front yard to drink some water and wash their hand and yet no one showed up. My Grandmother will be 80 years old next month and when my uncle, who lives with her, got home and asked the guys what they were doing and told them they needed to leave, they responded with "Well the old lady was asleep in the house on a chair so we didn't think she'd mind." My uncle got home three hours after my Grandma called the cops and they never showed up to my Grandma's house. Now with this happening I fear for my Grandma's safety.

Slideshows of real life events

My slide show is here I chose this because it showed the emotion the community went through with the loss of, at the time, 25 miners. There was a sign of support for the miners hanging from a house and a veteran shows respect for those who died by putting the flag at half-mast. The slide that touched me the most was the picture of the children watching the news of their dad who had died in the mine. As a mom, I think that would be the worse thing to see, is my child having to watch a terrible event that her dad was involved in. The next thing is the fact that this mine had recorded an injury rate worse than the national average for similar operations. The last slide really ends it the way this story is going to end. The end is in a church after a vigil for the victims of the blast, really bringing things to an end.